How to boost confidence and self-esteem in your children
According to research, a child in a mother’s womb at six months until the age of seven is like a sponge, absorbing everything around them. These early years are crucial as they will shape their personal development and will form the basis of their sub-conscious mind. In particular, because 95 -99% of all our decisions, emotions and behaviour come from our sub-conscious mind, it is so important that we are careful in how we interact with our children. Often, with even the best of intentions we end up saying things to our children that will have devastating consequences on their self-esteem.
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So, here are some tips on how to boost your child’s self-esteem:
Every child is individual
Don’t compare them to their siblings. We often say that one son is better at spellings than the older one, or the first daughter was much easier to raise than our second child. All these negative comments again are registering within our child and will imbed in their subconscious mind. They will then go on to believe these negative comments and will begin to develop negative thoughts and habits. As parents, we should really understand what we mean by every child is individual. No two people are the same, not even twins! We need to accept and recognise that each child is unique and appreciate this as a beautiful quality.
We as parents need to have positive attitude.
Many mums have said to us that they themselves lack confidence and self-esteem and so struggle to even motivate themselves. However, if we were to make a deliberate effort to act confident in front of our children through displaying positive body language then this will help our children tremendously. So, instead of dismissing a “bright idea” from our child, we should actively encourage them with lots positivity.
Be a role model for them.
Be real with your child, set real goals and expectations: Otherwise you are setting them up to fail. Many parents want their boys to be doctors! However, children as they grow will change what they want to do and what they are interested in and we as parents need to show interest and support them through these changes Set real goals with them from a young age and help them towards it and plan the small steps that need to be taken. Also, teach them that goals can change, and the steps we take can also change and that is okay. In this way, you are teaching them how to adapt and cope with change.
Praise your children for every accomplishment — big or small
Take interest in their achievements.
Their efforts should be rewarded. We often forget that children are faced with so many difficulties and challenges in modern day society and for them to take the small steps can be difficult for them. When this isn’t recognised, this will add to their negative mindset and then they will not even make an effort with the smallest of things. Recognition doesn’t just mean buying presents. All you have to do is praise them with positive words, share a cuddle and show a genuine happiness of their achievements and that is far more valuable than buying them a toy.
Carefully address your children’s behaviour.
Constructive criticism is better than putting them down with negative words – a child will display their emotions through behaviour. This is their way of saying they need the attention from you. When we do not give them the attention or give them the wrong kind, this is when they turn away and express through other means such as anger, outbursts, bullying, or even turning to drugs, alcohol etc. If you do find your child behaving in this way then take the softer approach. Give them the time, ask them what they want and work with them to deal and address the underlying issues. Most parents are guilty of telling them off, blaming them, accusing them of being a naughty child. The responsibility is with the parents because had we given them the right kind of attention when they needed it and embedded nothing but positivity in them then they wouldn’t behave in this way. Now that they are be real with them and work together to resolve the issue. Treat them with lots of love and affection.
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